Voice for stay home mothers in East Africa

I am a lady aged 43 years.i was raised by a single mother.who did everything in her power to put her kids through school.growing up my mother taught us that God was the answer to everything...we would fall sick and my mother would lay her hands on our heads and pray for us and yeah miraculously we would get well.(but also she didn't have the money for hospital Bills soooo) anyway because I was raised in a poor family i managed to get through secondary school but didn't manage to finish with my university although some did call on me to attend.l ended up getting married at a very young age, I was nineteen when I got my first born daughter...five years later I got my second and two more followed suite.i adored the man I married because I choose him against everyone's desdain,I loved him with my whole soul,he was the very first man I ever had,and to my joy we wedded and started a family together.theres nothing under the sun that I wouldn't do for him.i would lay my life down for him...some women say when you give birth to babies your love shifts,mine grew even more.i loved him more than anything in the entire universe.mid way through our marriage I started senseing something was off.i would find texts he had written to his ex girlfriend,(I have no ex's soooo)and i would be sad , but quickly forgive him.he would say the girl is the one that wont let me go,and because i was young and naive I w believe every word.girls kept popping up all through out but he always had an explanation.one time i found nude pictures of a girl sleeping on a bed, when I asked him who that was,he simply said it's nothing really.i was sad all the time trying to make sense of what was happening...I would blame myself thinking maybe am not a good wife maybe theres something am doing wrong and I would up my game,making sure his every need is met.(in african societys when a man cheats, it's always the womans fault,and he is just patted on the back and told hes a man)so i hang in there and hoped for the best.everyone i would share with would tell me its okay just hang in there it shall be well.one time i caught my husband texting with a woman and he was calling her my big baby...I managed to read some of it and it said "I am proud of you,you are doing such a great job taking care of Imani"when I asked him he told me this "this lady gave birth to a baby,but the two men that she slept with no one wanted the kid or the woman,so my husband being the great guy that he is told her, don't worry if no one wants to be your husband i will be your husband "when he told me this i was livid with anger,i packed my bags and left,only to be sent back because i had kids and i couldn't leave them alone....my husband kept mistreating me and he wouldn't give me money,(to this day I don't ask anything from him,not even sanitary pads)yet he knows I don't work am a stay home mother.i still prayed for him hoping all would eventually be well.i would find pictures of women with painted nails holding lubricants,he would say those are just pictures nothing much.i got UTI s more times than I know,yet i was a faithful person,and i never use public toilets,hes a medic and every time I asked him, he said it's common for women to have UTI s, it's not a big deal.i always found it within my heart to forgive him.when this year was beginning (2024)I took all the kids upcountry to visit my in-laws at his wish.he himself remained in the city working (coz hes a doctor) I was running around like a chicken with no head,doing chores for his family, cleaning (which his mom and dad never appreciated because they didn't like me for their son, because I was born from a poor family)all hell broke loose a week into our stay ,i borrowed his nephews phone to call ny husband about something i don't even remember,as soon as I went on his wattsap videos abd pictures started pouring in.in one video he had taken a family to visit his dad (the dad had come for medicals and was staying in a hotel because us we stay in the village and its far)the woman was cutting cake,my husband was smiling from ear to ear,the kid that he told me was his afterwards was running around while my husband was taking a video of everything...as I am still shocked to see this video another one pops in this time it's another woman with my husband and they're standing beside a sitting father in law with a b little boy standing near the front,my husband was all smiles from ear to ear ....I was in a rage that ive never known...here i was playing wifey when his entire family knew exactly what was happening...I packed my kids up before morning Even broke and I left, but our of respect to his parents I showed the mother what I had seen and bid them both farewell and left.....(later on the mother in the defense of her son asked me over the phone that is my husband the only man in the world?)i got back home and confronted my husband with the evidence,all he could say was let me tell you everything then afterwards you can do whatsoever you so wish to do.i desperately needed to know why he did this to me, what did I do wrong,was I not good enough? Have I ever cheated on him even once? Did I ever give him reason to treat me the way he did??all he told me was he did it with one of the women because the opportunity to do it came and he hadn't done it before so he did it,the second woman he said she seduced me and I did it....I was soooo broken down,I wanted to die,I had no reason to live,I had invested my whole life in this man. All my love, all my years, everything i had given felt like it was for nothing.i just wanted to sleep and never wake...I desperately needed to stop the pain...a deep pain that i couldn't touch,or know its depth....I had to do something....I was in a daze....I walked to a phamacy in my daze and bought two strips of sleeping pills,i swallowed tgem all and slept,hoping never to wake...I woke up four days later in a hospital,dazed, angry even at myself, confused,still filled with questions,but right there in that hospital bed,i vowed never to give ny life to anyone ever again,i vowed never to die over a man again....I decided that I would do everything in my power to take care of my children and make them proud of me...it has taken me almost a year to come to terms with my situation,but i have decided to divorce the man and move on, am still unemployed,but i have my kids still and whatever we have we use as God provides. My wish is to be a financially stable single mom of four beautiful children,my wish is to be able to provide food, clothing, shelter, school,for my kids without depending on anyone,(which I have done all my life)my wish is to make my daughters proud of me and be an example of what a woman can be able to do with or without a man,my wish is to be a beacon of help to all stay home mothers around my society who are in pain and heartache but have nowhere to turn to,I want to creat a space for women in my village where they can run and not be judged,looked down on,or not understood...I want to be that helping hand that i didn't have, and that i desperately needed..my wish is that if theres anywoman out there that has gone through what ive gone through,or who sympathies with me,anyone at all that they may please make my wish come true....my wish is that i will be giving a testimony of how women in my society are being revolutionised to take charge of their own destinies and not wait on another person's....if theres anyone out there that's reading this,you are my only hope, please help bring my wish to light.